The Apathy of Children and Our Future
Definition of Apathy: no interest or energy and shows that someone is unwilling to take action, especially over something important.
With the growing trend of having meritorious badges of accomplishments for adolescents who don't value the true essence of these achievements, is it a wonder that our children have become apathetic to their future. Empty trophies never really changed the world, care and concern for the world have.
Why do our children just not care anymore? Does constant scrolling hours on end eat away at their time? Is it the superficial comparisons made by our kids through social media that make any effort they would like to make redundant and just give up? The constant consumption of food and entertainment makes them too lazy and comfortable to strive to do something important perhaps. I’d argue that all these are just mere symptoms of a concealed disease, the upbringing of our future.
Parents have so much pride in their kids, or rather what their kids can do. There is a huge emphasis in our deen on honouring the parents and respecting their opinions, and rightfully so as is commanded by God.
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
[And We have commanded people to ˹honour˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return.]
[But if they pressure you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. Still keep their company in this world courteously]
Surah Luqman 14, 15
But what also should be emphasized is the important role and responsibility parents have for their children.
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ أَلَا كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ فَالْإِمَامُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ وَهِيَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects."
Al-Bukhari and Muslim
In any human relationship, it takes two to make it flourish and on certain occasions, some should put in more effort than the other depending on where we are in life; but by no means should it be considered one-sided. Although the latter seems to be the case, with constant discussions about the importance of parents in Islam, perhaps due to many of these talks being facilitated by adults who are currently going through parenthood and have forgotten they also were once children.
To compare, in discussions relating to the rights and responsibility of the rights of the husband and wife, it is heavily encouraged to not focus on what is owed to you but on what you are responsible for. Why can we not opt for this way of thinking in the relationship between parent and child? Yes, children do need to be taught and educated learning does not cease for any person till death. But on far too many occasions parents shove hadith down their children's throats as if they will immediately be reprogrammed to be the most ideal child. There's no such thing as a perfect child (or person) and nor is perfection achieved when children are forced to learn through the jargon.
This sentiment is passed down to other facets of their children's lives. From school, extra-curricular, and mosques - there is no end to these verbal orders which are immediately expected to be manifested. And for what? For the betterment of children? Or for something to show off amongst our peers - to show everyone "Yes, we can do parenting - the correct way!". Okay, everyone wants to best for their children but even with the best of intentions, the worst outcome is possible. Out of sheer ignorance and not out of malice exist the worst acts possible.
Does a relay of words seem sincere to you? Are mere words the sole role of upbringing? Young children growing up are more receptive to the caring actions of their surroundings - they will learn more from it.
عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ مَا رَأَيْتُ أَحَدًا كَانَ أَرْحَمَ بِالْعِيَالِ مِنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
Anas b. Malik reported that "I have never seen anyone more kind to one's family than Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) "
Muslim
To conclude, children must obey their parents in matters of good conduct, that which is beneficial and not sinful, harmful, or unreasonable. Parents have a reciprocal responsibility to allow their children to have the opportunity to grow and develop on their terms if their path is lawful and good. Having tunnel vision on what you deem to be ideal and significant whilst imposing that on your children could lead to apathy.
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